a look at the past few post while i take a break from my study and realised that i don't really blog much abt daily happenings. Guess my life had come to a standstill where everything is so standard. So NO LIFE.

i really find it weird. to walk past each other, shoulders almost rubbing and yet we can pretend to be stranger to each other. I guess we had really become 最熟悉的陌生人. it takes time for us to really ignore each other. and i guess it is perhaps the best indication that we had finally given up on each other. I had forgiven you and will forget everything about you.

human are all strange creatures. you treat someone well and ppl might misunderstood your intention. you ignore someone, that person thought you are angry. you just stay quiet for a little moment, ppl will think you anti social. you talk loudly and ppl see you as nuisance.
Seriously speaking, what is the point of learning to live with others when it is so hard to get along?

i tried hard to give in but i think at times i really do need to give up giving in. What is the point of giving in everytime and yet being annoyed times and again?

saying sorry is what i will NEVER do. No matter how wrong i am. i just don't see the need of apologising to anyone when there is already feeling being hurt.

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wat r friends? or how much is friendship worth??
i dun have the answer..but i have my own meanings..

friend is
someone u can tok to abt everything and anything without the fear of being mock at..
someone not always by ur side but always there for u when u r down...
someone who understand u inside out and noe u even better than urself..

friendship r priceless..friendship r even more important than anithing..with tis definition, how many of my current "friends" r true friends???
i dunnoe.. it seems that there is none..not even the 1 closest to mi noe...(u noe who u r)
i mean it when i always sae i only treat u as a classmate..(XXX noe it best cos i always sae it to him..)
but when i didn't sae it to others it doesn't make them better than XXX..it just that they dun even worth mentioning...all that r "friends" r being treated as passer-bys in my life..they come and go.. i cannot stop them.. even if i wan to..

the above is what i copied and pasted from one of mine post 4 years back. Pardon the english! and the name removed for safety purposes. personally this seems so true when i said it years ago. And how true things had turn out. even the one who seems to know me best and longest also had the friendship ended. How sad could it be but this is reality.

One more post i did on the same day with the above.

"u hate a person's character becos u saw a reflection of urself"
i dunnoe whether tis is true..
i dun have a good character..
i just shoot out wat i feel without caring abt ppl' feelings..
tis is me.
i dun give a damn abt wat ppl think..
i dun tok to ppl when i dunnoe them well enough...
tat y i'm alway being label as ""dao" when ppl noe mi at first..
it takes time for mi to tok to ppl freeily.. (abt 3 daes..hehe..)
ppl who have no patient will ignore mi by then..

shooting anything out just like tat can hurt ppl feelings...
XXX sae tat to me before.. i oso sae i will change but thinking back..
i dun think it is wrong at times..

if i dun do tat will the projects being successful??
who is there to push u all to do the work.
XXX also sae, before i help any1 in their work i will kp them first..y did i do tat??
its not tat i dun wan to help.
its tat i wan u all to really learn it..
unless u all really dun understand den u all should go and look for help..
if not just crack a bit of ur brain...
i dun like it when u come and ask for help just becos u r lazy to do the work..
i will continue to help though..but who benefit>>>its not u..
i will continue to help though..
mi won't leave u in the lurch..but dun take mi for granted..

i guess from this i do change quite abit in my thinking. I don't shoot out at free will now cos i thought by being quiet things will be better, peace will be everywhere. But how wrong i am? 4 years to change my thinking. to change back to 4 yrs ago is impossible.

i don't understand why but somehow i just feel when i am writing this post, it is the same feeling when i had 4 years back. exactly the same. Only difference now is i am bottling it up instead of saying out. Guess it is really because of the people i am mixing with now. :(