i repeated the same mistakes again. Just wks earlier, i mention i should not harbour much hope on the exchange thing and should have back up. but i repeated the mistake i made. So now, my whole 3 mths is so empty once again :(

i had receive the confirmation REJECTION letter. No MORE Germany :(
All becos of some cork up adminstrative problem!

to look on a bright side, i can use the money i save on lots of things.
Handphone, chalet, Holidays and lots more stuff.
time i going to have now can be spent on working, travelling, spending more time with her and all of my friends.

but i know i had lost a valuable chance to gain experience :( something which i never ever going to get in future.

To spur myself on, i shall aim for GOLD for IPPT. so if may 21 i didn't get gold, i shall aim till the deadline past.

i dread having to find job again :(

saddness struck more than once this wk. other than the rejection, i am having painful experience in my mouth. My stupid wisdom teeth start to ache like crap. Really regretted not plucking them off in army. now i might need to waste money on that.

the frustration added up when i cannot solve the past yr papers qns. Impossible sia. i followed exactly the same steps as the notes, yet i cannot get the answer!! Wanted to clarify with other ppl, but no one did it. :( so i can only sulk at the papers!

i really have no fate going to europe! I missed the chances twice last year. and when i thought the Germany exchange is on, i was so happy.becos vincent and gang are going too! too bad, now they are still going for their holidays while i am again for the third time stuck in this island.

My reason for leaving is simple. I want to be away from here. away during a certain period. Perhaps, i shall use the money and backpack during that period i intentionally wanted to "siam".

with germany gone, i have to wear green on 3 june. Well done! wearing green, reporting to one "all guys" camp, instead of being in a campus full of Blonde. wat a big contrast!

i was called "choon guan dan". So funny to see this name appearing again! it is like since p4 when the last person called me that.

met up with babe. had a little catch up and did my review for the year. and she asked me to approached her if, in any cases, i want to take up financial planning as a job, she willing to take me under her wing. LOL!
i think i won't even consider it, but looking at her and her lifestyle, it seems so tempting.
BMW Convertible at age of 26. LOL!! i think i cannot even afford after another 10 yrs of working.

i am sad. sometimes, i promise something becos i thought it was the best option at the moment, and i am playing on the memories of the person to forget abt it. It was supposed to be a white lie! to allow ppl to let things go and forget abt it.
but it don't seems to work this way. Firstly, i was proven wrong and had to dig out things i wish i never mentioned!
In coming mths, there is another chance to be proven wrong once more. Haiz, i really hope that i can break my promise and not devulge on the things i don't want to say.

if i was to say recent incidents had no impact on the relationship we had, i would have lie. But if i let such things to affect the relationship, i am not doing a good job in separating work from friendship. This is just like what Engineering professionalism is about.

this week had be bad. i am sad and it could had being worse if i am not in exam period. Guess the rejection came at a time i cannot be too bothered by it. Maybe i will feel the aftermath of it on 6th may.

everything seems so disorganised. i am unable to organise my thoughts well when i have millions of things in my head distracting me! :(

this is definitely one of the worst reading/exam period. i failed to grab hold of my mind and concentrate.

Wandering mind. Wander around. Never stopped!