i am feeling depressed cos of the certain things that had occurred:

1) it had been ongoing for a wk plus now. had never been treated like this before, not even during breaking up. but guess it is going to the extreme now and the 19yrs of friendship might not continue any longer.
2) i don't know is it my fault or not. but somehow i do feel responsible. i never like being PS last min but i did just tat to others last night. initially i do wish to continue meeting up since i already had no plan, however, i remembered that you mention not wanting to have a meal with me alone which resulted in me choosing not to meet up.
3) the time spent together is already little and to make thing worst, when i do have time and want to meet up, i will still be a step to slow. though both will be at the same place but it is still a group outing. never the same as being alone. i choose not to go for the outing since i am fed up with myself. Just hope that my plan don't get screwed so frequently.

on the bright side, i had managed to be able to talk to someone more 自在 now. it is just like when we first know each other. At least i am not as cold towards that person as the previous few wks.

SLP outing today. quite fun. went to Marina Barrage and then to Kent Ridge Park.
after which, the slpian went to have lunch/dinner and we chit chat till 7 plus before we head off. Kind of find it weird to have 3 other persons to go look for shoe with me thus i decided to cut short everything. super sian mood that i just took a random bus which ended up bringing me to holland v. Somehow it is so different during the CNY period. quiet and not so happening. after which i head home as i begin to feel my gastri pain coming up. guess the idea of skipping breakfast, lunch and dinner is bad.

i know i wanted to type something while on bus but somehow i lost all thoughts. haiz! so i shall end here and will resume when i remembered.