disheartened!

the arrival of tuesday means BAD! despite the fact that i had been busy these whole 2 wks, i do noe that it will be result release date tml! the constant fear of seeing a bad result had been in the back of my mind that i had lost sleep this past few days. i just pray i passed as i am prepared for the worst outcome.
tuesday is glommy. when u set urself high expectation and didn't achieve it, the pain and saddness will be there. i got great plans and great vision for tml event. however, i fear the outcome of it. 1 day to go and 2 ppl had withdraw saying they can't make it. i just wish everything will go on fine since i dun expect much now. it had come to a point where i had decide not to remind ppl abt tml. If they wan to go, just go. Email had being sent. fb event oso set up. even MSN or SMS had being sent. Watever it is, if i do had a double set back tml. I shall be clearing all the leftover!

i tot it will be fun having a christmas gift exchange since the event is to celebrate christmas. but i tot wrong. the constant hearing of, "huh! must buy gift ah? so ma fan!" kind of make me think that i make a wrong move. anyway, i guess i shall stop doing unnecessary stuff. worst is when u heard someone ask, "must buy present??" it make me think if i did enough to tell ppl or inform ppl. Seriously, it is tougher than i tot. I seriously hate what i am doing now. y can't ppl just do things that is right? is reading an email for 5 mins so hard? or is my email unclear? even a simple reply for attendance oso seems to be hard to get.

i shall not continue. it only make me more disheartened that all!

whatever the outcome, whoever is coming. we shall still go ahead and have our own fun. i shall not let those who don't bother to put in effort or disruptive force to take away my fun with the rest. For sure i noe, at least 3 teens will truely appreciate what we had done for them! and for me it is enough.