Baring all out!

as mention in the earlier post. THIS IS PRIVATE!! so i can bare all out without fear of unwanted readers. so let's start with this.

i always believe guy and girl can be super close friend and yet not in BGR. However, not a lot of ppl believe in it. Over the past few wks, i am super close with 2 of my female friends, one a super old friend and the other whom i know not long ago.
first of them is XY. recently i met up with her almost 3 times per wk. Just a simple dinner or even sitting there just to talk. this had create a little of something among the 8 of us again. it is kind of history repeat itself. but the last straw came from M. he did a stupid thing when i had not even forgive him for his previous one. He asked me if i am interested in XY. Guess i am not being friendly either that i shoot him back," so r u going to did what u did to me again?" sensing my unfriendliness he just left. XH however came and chided me off for giving wrong signal to XY and being so hostile to M. feeling frustrated, i went off to ask XY. She told me abt sibling stuff which is what both of us had in common understanding and i think what she said is right. Ignore what others say. Seriously, the last person i thought will misunderstand is XH, one is her elder sister and the other is her ex. yet she prefer to listen to craps instead of the truth. haiz. What's worst is we known each other for 18 yrs. WTH!! disappointed!!
Now a more recent known friend, CS aka sis. LOL! hmm, guess ppl like to ask me stupid thing, How u and CS going? wth, it is so obvious that i like m which they already spread the scandal like mad, yet they still want to ask me about CS. but watever it is. She is just a good friend, erm, sister. LOL. cos she noe so many of my secrets. LOL.

been doing some crappy quiz recently. those whereby u just name a person according to the colour. I named them and the one who i hope to be my lover is not M but sop. Surprising? perhaps. guess me and sop are having a weird friendship. just last wk, we begin contacting again so i asked abt her life and jokingly i ask if she is attached. her reply was u interested in me?? wan woo me? lol. i laugh and ask her if she was joking and she say no. WTH!! she just call me kor kor which is what she address me from day one till now. LOL! but watever it is, i got no feeling for her. I tried before but failed, so it is not my fault but hers. I attempted 4 times last yr to ask her out. and 4 times she agreed only to PS me at the meeting time. So i had already gave up. I still remember it was the Lull period in army, Johnathan was asking me what wrong, and i told him i just feel the emptiness of not having recruits. LOL! wat a joke!! lol. Oh yar, as mentioned earlier, sop and me only begin contacting after 6 mths absence. But earlier on my bday, despite having M around for celebration, somehow the one who brought the happiness is a simple sms from sop. HMM!! really weird but perhaps it is the long absence that make me feel glad that she sms.

ok, before ppl think something else, i got to make it clear. i think i really do like M. over the weeks, it is uncertainty but when we were both alone and "leng chang" occurs, it somehow struck me that yar, it is this feeling. LOL. but i am hestitating from asking her out. Guess it is more of fear of rejection. Another thing that is holding me back is the feeling from her, i dun feel anything from her. though the informant report is positive but somehow i dun feel it, which is why i really don't wish to commit. But i guess i am not going to care abt it. Just try it for once. the most if fail, i will hide in cave forever.

hmm, i guess i reveal quite a bit today. Stop for now and will continue when the mood is back. Guess the soccer is distracting me quite a bit. LOL. alright, till then!!