sleepless night~!

a part of me want to sleep, a part of me just cannot get into the sleep mood. And in the end, i choose to stay awake and rot my time away.

5 yrs ago, we were at a crossroad. 5 yrs now, we are still facing one. Only this time, it is more serious than ever.

4 yrs ago, i concluded a project- my FYP. 4 yrs now, i am concluding another project- SLP.

3 yrs ago, i was forcing myself to another stage of physical limit. 3 yrs now, i am pushing my physical limit again. Only now, i am striving for my previous limit.

2 yrs ago, i gave a punishment to one recruit by sending him to Detention Barrack. 2 yrs now, i still feel guilty for what i had done despite the fact he truely deserve his punishment.

1 yr ago, i wrote on this blog what i used to hope i will be when i grow up. 1 yr now, i am not any closer to what i what to be. Instead i am wasting my time writing this piece of nonsense.

surprise, surprise! ZF asked the same qn as he asked 1 yr ago. "got date r** d*** out?" it had been 8 yrs and it seems nothing had changed. Haha!

i used to think to myself not to give up and each time my determination just pull me through. However, i seem to lost that sense of "magical" touch. A case of not wearing green? bullshit i will say. time to find back that sense of self- 1)determination, 2)confidence, 3)discipline and of the the 4)pride of my own work!

Law of Attraction. the more you feel that you will get something the more likely you will get it. I read the book on that before and now i just want to say, "LET ME GO TO MEXICO!"
though i know this rule don't stand cos i had numerous thing which i didn't get. One of cos is that AEO post! i am still seething about the lost opportunity! Perhaps i am really not meant to be :(

Anyway, i am not emoing! haha! i am just bored cos i wanted to sleep but i can't and i just don't want to open up my notes and read them. So i just read through my random ancient posts and guess what, 80% are emo posts! darn! i should stop doing it and be happy!

SMILES ALWAYS!! as i head off to that bed and tried smiling to 周公 praying he will just be kind enough to play 1 round of chess with me.