pui...
i'm worse than my own recruits...
tat wat i think i am now...

wat am i suppose to be..
supposed to be self motivated..
confident.. have better leadership.. able to push others and myself beyond our limits..
tat wat i'm supposed to be..
after the 38wks of course...
able to stand on my own...

but now i dun think i am better in any sense..
argh...

low morale, lack of confidence, no motivation at all...
i can spend hrs and hrs...
toking to ppl..
to bring them to their senses...
but now i can't do it myself...
i think i in need of someone to help mi...
haiz...

19 daes to sort myself out..
before the new batch came in...
i should not let personal stuff affect my committment to the recruits...
2 more batch...
and i should be doing better than any of the previous batch....
instead of worse...

time for a long self reflection....

如果你从没出现
我会不会觉得快乐一些
可惜残忍时间
总要把诺言一点点摧毁